Couples Coaching Services

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In every marriage, there are ups and downs, disagreements and conflicts. But sometimes, there are issues that are disrupting the normal function of a marriage or are, simply put, dealbreakers. You and your partner may want to stay married, but are facing what seem to feel like irreconcilable differences. On the other hand, you love each other and divorce seems like a drastic step in taking measures to correct the issues and pain points you’re facing.

In every marriage, there are ups and downs, disagreements and conflicts. But sometimes, there are issues that are disrupting the normal function of a marriage or are, simply put, dealbreakers. You and your partner may want to stay married, but are facing what seem to feel like irreconcilable differences. On the other hand, you love each other and divorce seems like a drastic step in taking measures to correct the issues and pain points you’re facing.

This is where our Couples Coaching comes in. This isn’t therapy. We will not be deep-diving into all the traumas and baggage from the past. Couples Coaching focuses on the issues of the present in a practical way with a goal of deciding if divorce is the right choice for you and your spouse.

Interested in learning more? Browse through our frequently asked questions to learn more about Couples Coaching and if this service is right for you.

This is where our Couples Coaching comes in. This isn’t therapy. We will not be deep-diving into all the traumas and baggage from the past. Couples Coaching focuses on the issues of the present in a practical way with a goal of deciding if divorce is the right choice for you and your spouse.

Interested in learning more? Browse through our frequently asked questions to learn more about Couples Coaching and if this service is right for you.

Q.

Is Couples Coaching for me?

A.

Couples coaching is meant specifically to help couples determine if they want to reconcile some of their issues or if divorce is the right choice for them and their family. However, Couples Coaching is also specific in its goal and is not a replacement for legal counsel or counseling with a licensed therapist. This might be a good option for you if:

  • You’re not an emotional person
    Are you someone who is not emotional, or has no need to go through typical practices that a therapist would provide? Or perhaps you are someone who is not inclined to enjoy therapy. Couples coaching is much more straightforward and really takes a look at the finite complaints in the marriage and determines if those issues are fixable and how. Instead of exploring emotions or the past, we make a game plan to patch holes and learn to make better marriage decisions and either avoid divorce together or decide to divorce together.
  • The pain points in your marriage are tangible
    If the issues in your marriage are intangible–you love someone else, you have no feelings for your spouse, or there is a severe mental disorder ailing one or both of you–couples coaching is not for you. Couples coaching looks at tangible and fixable issues within your marriage and creates a plan to fix them as a team and learn to either rebuild a partnership or agree to part ways.
    Maybe you disagree on parenting choices, or have minuta that irritates each other.
    Perhaps your husband works too much or your wife has a spending problem. We can discuss these and any issues that are able to be solved with a step-by-step approach.
  • You still feel love for your spouse
    If you know you don’t love your spouse, or if you already are certain that you want a divorce and nothing will change your mind, then Couples Coaching may not be for you. It’s meant for partners who are on the fence with the idea of divorce and really would love to avoid it if they can. They respect and love each other, but have issues that are causing stress and conflict to a point where they feel it may not be repairable.
  • You’re have a Type A personality
    If you’re a planner, love lists and enjoy meeting goals, Couples Coaching may be a great option for you to overcome the challenges in your marriage, or as a replacement for traditional therapy.
Q.

Can you give me an example of what Couples Coaching may look like?

A.

Let’s take a look at a two vignettes of couples who find success in Couples Coaching:

  • Kyle and Jackie have been married for six years and have a lot of fun together. They both love golf and are both teachers at the same school. They have always had a strong relationship, but the past two years have been difficult. They are having issues getting pregnant and with this stress, they are noticing a lot about each other that is frustrating. Jackie feels Kyle doesn’t help out with chores enough and Kyle thinks Jackie is controlling with his food choices and needs to lose weight because improving his health may help them conceive. They both feel like they are at the end of their rope.

    Kyle isn’t a very emotional person and Jackie feels therapy is too expensive and a lengthy process. She just wants advice on how to solve their current problems. They agree to attend Couples Coaching and they both list out the issues that are bothering them. Lindsey helps them map out compromises and steps to try to solve the issues. Kyle and Jackie work out a chore calendar so they each tackle equal tasks, and they start planning meals weekly, focusing on healthy choices but also including some allowances for Kyle’s sweet tooth. They agree that after 60 days of successful practice in these areas, they will visit a fertility specialist over their summer teaching break and focus on having a baby. Couples counseling helped Kyle and Jackie find clarity that the problems they felt were insurmountable were solvable using reason, planning and a little bit of patience.

  • Adam and Meghan have been married for nine years and most of it has been trying. Adam was unfaithful to Meghan during their engagement and has never fully gotten over it, even after counseling and Adam’s loyalty in marriage and insistence that it was a mistake. Meghan constantly brings it up in arguments and Adam usually just retreats to the basement bar to drink after a fight. To try to make up for his mistakes of the past, Adam surprises Meghan with a trip to the Bahamas to reset their marriage and start over, focusing on each other for a full week. They go, fight the whole time and don’t have any fun.

    Adam makes three times as much money as Meghan, so she’s been considering divorce, but worries about how she will fare financially if she takes that leap. They also have two small children who need love and attention. Both Adam and Meghan are good parents, but they bicker a lot and it stresses them out, as well as their children.

    Adam and Meghan both feel it’s possible that the mistakes of the past and the issues of today are too much to sort out. They have tried counseling in the past, so they decide to try Couple’s Coaching to see if there is a more practical way to overcome some of their problems. As they try to make compromises, they always come back to the infidelity. Adam knows he was wrong, but also feels that the forgiveness Meghan extended wasn’t genuine and that they will never move past it. Megahan admits she’s so bitter over the cheating that she has no romantic feelings for Adam anymore, and is only concerned about caring for herself after divorce. Adam promises to make sure that they find a reasonable financial solution and they both decide to enter into Pre-Divorce Exploration together. Although they chose not to stay together, the Couples Coaching did meet its goal and will likely help Adam and Meghan have a more amicable divorce for themselves and their children because they reached the decision together.

Q.

Can Couples Coaching work if we already know we want to divorce?

A.

It can, if both individuals are willing to work with Sharp Divorce Counseling in order to determine the next best steps. NOTE: If you are considering divorce, but you will be engaging in services alone, Pre-Divorce Exploration is likely the best starting point for you.

Couples Coaching once divorce has been agreed upon can help you both begin thinking about all the logistics of the process—telling the kids, figuring out living arrangements, and, overall, keeping things amicable.

Both you and your spouse have important roles to play in order to make sure everything goes smoothly. When you sign up for our “couples coaching” services, we take a good look at your overall familial situations and advise you on best practices for achieving your goals and, generally, minimizing stress.

Q.

What is the difference between Couples Coaching and therapy or marriage counseling?

A.

Traditional therapy or marriage counseling aims to look at a couple’s history and identify how and when things went awry and how to fix them through cognitive behavioral therapy, etc. Couples Coaching is different because it’s a more practical approach to the here and now, working to determine if the marriage is salvageable, and next steps to take once that is determined. We look at the present-day issues and determine if and how those problems can be resolved. If not, we can help you assess your situation and make divorce decisions together to minimize stress on the family.

Q.

Is Couples Coaching affordable?

A.

Engaging in Couples Coaching can save you money now and in the long run. If you are not interested in traditional counseling, and really need help determining if a divorce is right for you, or how to communicate over differences and resolve them using goal setting, you can save yourself more time and money than a traditional counseling atmosphere would provide, which can be weeks, months or even years long.

In the long run, if you and your spouse determine that a divorce is right for you, moving forward together amicably will cost you far less throughout the divorce process. You’ll save time and money from avoiding excessive litigation and have a healthier first step into your new lives, as well.

Q.

What types of problems does Couples Coaching solve?

A.

Couples coaching is all about practicality. We look at tangible and solvable problems in the marriage and determine if the relationship is past the point of no return. We focus on things like finances, parenting, and other fixable problems that exist within the relationship. We talk about if there are still feelings of love that are able to be reignited, or if the passion is gone for good. Couples Coaching is all about making choices about the marriage together and looking at the realty of all options through a legal and practical lens.