The term “divorce coach” is definitely new within the past decade. Divorce itself has gone through a roller coaster of evolution. It has gone from being something that is completely unacceptable to being taboo, to being understood as a fact of life. And now, divorce is seeing a new horizon; divorce today can be viewed as the best choice for a family and is not always synonymous with trauma, loss, and family destruction. Hiring a divorce coach is a great first step to ensuring that you do not just survive the situation, but that you thrive through it.
This blog series is going to focus on the many reasons you need a divorce coach during what will undoubtedly be one of the most challenging experiences of your life. Life is made up of many different facets, and the ripples of divorce affect each and every one of those aspects differently. Each installment will discuss an aspect of life that will benefit from the expert guidance of a coach.
Financial Preparation
Going through a divorce is not only emotionally damaging, but it can also be expensive. While divorce coaching is not legal or financial advice, there are financial considerations to think about and prepare for outside of what an accountant provides. A divorce coach will guide you through the financial decision-making process that will affect your future and your life after the case is final.
This comes in the form of helping you determine how you’ll earn money, how to divide and manage expenses, and how to plan for saving and to make a financial future for yourself. This is especially helpful for divorcees that have been a stay-at-home parent or have not been the primary finance administrator of the household. In addition, much of proper financial management is organization; a divorce coach helps you gather and organize a checklist of important financial planning documents and works with you to make each step through the process.
Custody and Co-parenting Concerns
When you have kids and are also going through a divorce, the situation becomes more delicate and volatile. Depending on your amiability with your soon-to-be ex, custody arrangements and co-parenting can be stressful, at best, and traumatizing for you and your children, at worst. A divorce coach helps you to focus on what is best for your child(ren), navigate painful interactions with the other parent, stand firm in your desires, and set goals to be the best co-parent you can for your children.
Dating & Remarriage Considerations
When you get divorced, the idea of dating again can seem almost impossible. Many people ignore the idea entirely; others will begin dating again too quickly and damage themselves more emotionally than is necessary. If you don’t want to be alone, there are wise ways to protect your heart and re-enter the dating world healthily. A divorce coach will help you take each step toward dating, and possible re-marriage, by being a listening ear and a source of objective advice. You also may find yourself stressed if your ex moves on quicker than you or more quickly than you are comfortable with. A coach will provide a trusted place to vent and navigate those emotions.
Emotional Stress
Divorce isn’t easy, obviously. Many divorcees try to be strong and face their situation without any emotional support. This is unhealthy; you can’t ignore your own grieving and emotional processing. This will likely lead to more issues post-divorce for yourself. A divorce coach is a source of emotional support that you can’t find in a lawyer, a judge, an accountant, or even a clinical psychiatrist. A coach also provides a place to vent in an environment that is trusted, safe, and judgment-free. You can’t thrive through a divorce if you put yourself last; a divorce coach will help you balance your own needs while navigating the process.
Interacting With an Ex
It would be easier if every divorce was a clean break, but many times that is just not the reality. Sometimes divorcees have to live in the same home until housing determinations are made. Sometimes exes can be annoying, harassing, or even dangerous. It can be difficult to have even basic planning conversations with them without it erupting into an argument. A divorce coach helps you change behavior patterns so that you can release emotions to them and face interactions with an ex with poise, focused, on the task at hand.
Facing Burnout
Going through a divorce, even if it’s amicable, is exhausting. When you are trying to manage all the various aspects of divorce–finances, housing, custody, paperwork–it can feel like a full-time job. Then, on top of that, you still have a life to lead. You still have your career, family, friends, hobbies, and responsibilities. This can lead to an overwhelming amount of stress, which can turn into burnout. It’s important to protect your energy during this time; a coach will help you to simplify your life during this time, balance the many balls in the air, and provide an outlet for stress.
Sharp Divorce Coaching is here to help you face divorce with confidence and have the happiest life possible when the dust settles. Founder Lindsey Sharp has years of experience as a family attorney and has seen the many ways divorce can be different and can affect individuals and families for years to come. Her goal is to give clients the tools and support they need to get through a divorce with as little damage as possible and to thrive moving forward. There is life after divorce, and you deserve to enjoy it. Contact us today.